Feb 07

Monstrous radioactive squid

Monstrous radioactive squid washed up on Durban beach?

Residents of Durban in South Africa woke up to a remarkable site this morning. The photo was taken off Slasher Reef, located off the Kwazulu Natal coastal city of Durban. Dixie Normus, a surf enthusiast, snapped the photo while on the beach seeking a location to conduct a surfing competition for dwarfs with large feet.


“It was bobbing up and down in the water and at first I thought ‘What’s that?’” Dixie told a local newspaper.“ I suddenly realized it was a gigantic squid, ’ I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Experts from the ROAIOSANEA ( Rare Oceanic Animal Institute of South and North Eastern Africa) have announced that they picked up a radioactive measurement from the squid. The have also issued a statement that the giant squid was most likely exposed to  the radiation from the Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan. There have been many reports of over sized sea creatures being discovered around the world. Experts believe the phenomenon is most likely to the radiation exposure. There have also been numerous reports of men swimming in the seas of Fukushima in an attempt to increase the size of their manhood. But again, this is only speculation.

There has been widespread speculation that the photo has been photo-shopped by childish and immature internet trolls.  Naturally, skeptics are analyzing the photo in the hopes of finding an explanation. Yet even veteran heroin and pot addicts that frequent the area  for years have even commented on the authenticity of the photo.

Dixie Normus told FDCT, SA’s non existing breakfast show, “Even though we don’t know it’s a giant squid, we call it an IMOOTTIR It’s a new type of organism. It’s an “identified marine organism or thing that is radioactive”.

Nevertheless, the shot of what clearly looks like authentic is extremely compelling. A special team of experts have been assigned to monitor the radiation levels and recommend no swimming until they give the ‘all clear’

Hoax or reality? The waters of Durban will never be the same

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