began my first rock climbing assent the day I looked darkness head on and said, ‘I am light, I can hold my weight’ with autumns fallen gold crunching beneath my feet. I began my souls rock climbing adventure, the suns glow rose across the rock evenly dissipating the shadows that played on my thoughts. The first light of a new day dancing through the trees.
Life prepared me fairly well for the moment I first stepped onto solid rock and lifted myself up knowing that with each progression I was one step closer to death. I think it was the feeling of physically living on the edge of death’s doorstep that allowed me to channel my life into each movement. My rock climbing world had not frozen around me since I had left it for higher ground but I no longer felt the gravity of its existence in the same way.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and as I moved catlike up a vertical face of solid rock my perception of action began to change and grow deeply until I no longer saw where I wanted to be but I felt where I was needed. Time and space hold little significance when you begin your first rock climbing assent, seconds, even minutes tick by but mean nothing. It is the sound of life that rushes your thoughts, the sound of little birds flitting by calling to their friends, of autumn leaves falling on a chilled breeze to nestle on the ground that indicate the passing of time.
With each rock climbing hold you place your hand, the burn of muscle extending and contracting drives you higher, finger tips straining under the weight of your body, forearms burning with desire to hold onto your life. This is the moment when the very fabric of your being comes into question.
There is no longer a desire to have your feet firmly and safely on the ground because you know now that is not where you belong so you jump leaving even the safety of your rock, the cool air rushing over hot muscle to grasp a new unknown territory, to discover the truth of mother natures gifts. That all life no matter how small, weak or insignificant it may seem can conquer any mountain it chooses to face with nothing but sheer determination and courage bolder than the glow of the suns first rays.
My first rock climbing assent changed my life and taught me to believe that the human body has little limitations when driven by the power of a courageous mind.
By Kimmi Molenaar